IMing with da CULLENS!
by Wings of the Jay
Summary: Yeah, I know, many people have done this before, but this is my first fanfiction, and I couldn't think of anything else. It's about the Cullens discovering IMing. Odd things happen.. Fort Knox... Screaming Fangirls... GAY MOUNTAIN LIONS! Rated for safety.
1. Volvo Crashings

IMing with da CULLENS!

DangerMagnet: Bella

LiquidTopaz: Edward

Born2Shop: Alice

EmoConfederate: Jasper

FluffyVampBoy: Emmett

2Hot4You: Rosalie

DocterFang: Carlisle

TheNormalOne: Esme

MisterWiggles: Emmett

DangerMagnet has signed on.

LiquidTopaz has signed on.

Born2Shop has signed on.

DangerMagnet: Hello?

LiquidTopaz: Oh, hi. You must be Bella.

DangerMagnet: Yes... And you are?

LiquidTopaz: Edward.

Born2Shop: And I'm Alice!

DangerMagnet: I guessed as much.

Born2Shop: Bella, why is your screen name DangerMagnet? You know your a vampire, right?

LiquidTopaz: Yeah, I was wondering the same thing...

DangerMagnet: Yes, I know I'm a vampire. I got this before I became one.

LiquidTopaz: Oh.

Born2Shop: Oh.

EmoConfederate has signed on.

EmoConfederate: Hey, Alice. Hey, Edward. Hey--Bella?

DangerMagnet: Yup. Hey, Jasper.

LiquidTopaz: Hello Jasper.

Born2Shop: Hi Jazz!

DangerMagnet: Luv the screen name, btw.

Born2Shop: Haha!

EmoConfederate: Yeah, har har. 0.o

LiquidTopaz: Well, your just setting yourself up, Jazz.

EmoConfederate: Whatever, I couldn't come up with anything else.

LiquidTopaz: *sigh* I'm going to go drive my Volvo.

EmoConfederate: Um Edward...

LiquidTopaz has signed off.

EmoConfederate: Crap.

DangerMagnet: What, Jazz?

Born2Shop: OMG! You didn't!

DangerMagnet: What am I missing?

EmoConfederate: You'll find out in 3... 2... 1...

LiquidTopaz has signed on.

LiquidTopaz: Wtf?! YOU CRASHED MY CAR!

EmoConfederate: *cowers in cower*

LiquidTopaz: Yeah, you better cower. *growls*

DangerMagnet: Calm down, Edward.

Born2Shop: Yeah, take a ccccchhhhiiiiiillllllll pill.

LiquidTopaz: I am not going to-

EmoConfederate has signed off.

LiquidTopaz: He signed off!

LiquidTopaz: I'm going to go hunt him down!

DangerMagnet: Wait-

LiquidTopaz has signed off

Born2Shop: I'm going to go save Jazzy.

DangerMagnet: Good idea.

Born2Shop has signed off.

DangerMagnet: I'm um... Going to go do uh... Something.

DangerMagnet has signed off.

**There's the first chapter! I hoped you liked it :) I'll try and get the next one up as soon as possible**

**-Alice**


	2. Rosalie's Shopping Obsession

IMing with da CULLENS!

DangerMagnet - Bella

LiquidTopaz - Edward

Born2Shop - Alice

EmoConfederate - Jasper

FluffyVampBoy - Emmett

2Hot4You - Rosalie

DocterFang - Carlisle

TheNormalOne - Esme

MisterWiggles - Emmett

_DangerMagnet has signed on._

_Born2Shop has signed on._

DangerMagnet: Whew, that was close.

Born2Shop: Yeah, Edward almost made Jasper string cheese.

DangerMagnet: No, I meant Rosalie almost made me go shopping.

Born2Shop: I honestly don't see how you can be my sister and hate to go shopping.

_2Hot4You has signed on._

2Hot4You: OMG! Isabella Cullen, why didn't you come shopping with me?!

DangerMagnet: Uh, 'cause I don't like it.

Born2Shop: Rose, don't listen to her, she's delirious!

2Hot4You: You... Don't... Like... SHOPPING?!

DangerMagnet: Um.... No?

Born2Shop: Shhh! Don't let Rosalie know!

2Hot4You: *shallow breathing* You... you... you...

Born2Shop: Rose, calm down, she doesn't mean it.

DangerMagnet: Yes I do! I mean every. Single. Word.

Born2Shop: Not helping, Bella!

2Hot4You: If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go curl up in a dark corner.

_2Hot4You has signed off._

Born2Shop: Now look what you did!

DangerMagnet: I'm sorry! I didn't know Rosalie didn't know that I hated shopping!

Born2Shop: Zip it! Those words shall never be written! Or, er... typed!

DangerMagnet: Now that's just stupid.

_TheNormalOne has signed on._

TheNormalOne: Hey guys!

Born2Shop: Esme! Bella told Rosalie that she hated shopping!

TheNormalOne: Tsk, tsk. Bella, you know what Rose is like when someone tells her they hate shopping.

DangerMagnet: Uh, no! I don't!

TheNormalOne: Hmmm, what should the punishment be?

Born2Shop: The box of despair!

TheNormalOne: Yes, that will work.

DangerMagnet: No, not the box of despair!

DangerMagnet: Wait, what's the box of despair?

Born2Shop: It was a box that was originally made for Emmett when he was bad, but we can make exceptions. *evil grin*

DangerMagnet: Um, I'm gonna go flee the state, maybe even the country!

_DangerMagnet has signed off._

Born2Shop: Crap! Edward's gonna kill us!

TheNormalOne: Dang.

Born2Shop: I'm gonna go hid in my closet.

TheNormalOne: Why your closet?

Born2Shop: Have you seen how huge it is?

TheNormalOne: Good idea! I'll join you.

_Born2Shop has signed off._

_TheNormalOne has signed off._


	3. Oh My Carlisle

IMing with da CULLENS!

DangerMagnet - Bella

LiquidTopaz - Edward

Born2Shop - Alice

EmoConfederate - Jasper

FluffyVampBoy - Emmett

2Hot4You - Rosalie

DocterFang - Carlisle

TheNormalOne - Esme

MisterWiggles - Emmett

_DangerMagnet has signed on._

_Born2Shop has signed on._

Born2Shop: Uh, Bella, I'm really sorry about the whole box of despair thing.

DangerMagnet: It's okay, I forgive you.

Born2Shop: Good, then can you please untie me from this chair?

DangerMagnet: * evil grin * Not until the Victoria Secret sale is over.

Born2Shop: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

_LiquidTopaz has signed on._

_EmoConfederate has signed on._

LiquidTopaz: Um, Alice? Why are you murdering Bella in your head?

EmoConfederate: And why am I getting major hate waves from you?

Born2Shop: Bella tied me to a chair.

LiquidTopaz: Good for you, Bella.

DangerMagnet:  Yup, she deserved it.

EmoConfederate: Should I ask why you tied her to a chair?

DangerMagnet: No.

EmoConfederate: Uh, Alice? You know you're a vampire and can either untie yourself or break whatever is holding you to the chair?

Born2Shop: I can't, she used duct tape.

LiquidTopaz: * gasp * The force!

EmoConfederate: Where'd you get it?

DangerMagnet: Emmett has a stash of it in his room. **(Alice: And speak of the devil…)**

_FluffyVampBoy has signed on._

EmoConfederate: Emmett?!

Born2Shop: Emmett?!

LiquidTopaz: Emmett?!

DangerMagnet: For one thing, your not fluffy. For another, you're not a boy, though you may act like it…

FluffyVampBoy: Right, I'm a MAN!

Born2Shop: Oh god.

FluffyVampBoy: Wait, I have another screen name, should I change…?

LiquidTopaz: Yes!

EmoConfederate: Yes!

DangerMagnet: Yes!

Born2Shop: Please!!

_FluffyVampBoy has signed off._

DangerMagnet: Whew…

LiquidTopaz: What a relief!

_MisterWiggles has signed on._

Born2Shop: Oh.

DangerMagnet: My.

EmoConfederate: Carlisle.

LiquidTopaz: My eyes!

DangerMagnet: It burns!

MisterWiggles: Hey guys! Like my screen name?

Born2Shop: I'll say it for everyone: NO!

MisterWiggles: * sniff * I can see I am not appreciated! Oh, and has anyone seen Rosalie?

Born2Shop: Go look in a dark corner. Someone * cough * Bella * cough * told her that she did not like shopping.

DangerMagnet: Like I said, not my fault!

MisterWiggles: Well, I'm going to go look for her.

_MisterWiggles has signed off._

DangerMagnet: I'm going to look at something wholesome to clear my head of what I just witnessed.

_DangerMagnet has signed off._

_LiquidTopaz has signed off._

EmoConfederate: I'll go untie you, Alice.

Born2Shop: Thank you, Jazzy!

_EmoConfederate has signed off._

_Born2Shop has signed off._

**Thank you for reviewing! I'll try and get the next one up as soon as possible!**

**-Alice**


	4. Bella Discover Sugar

IMing with da CULLENS!

DangerMagnet - Bella

LiquidTopaz - Edward

Born2Shop - Alice

EmoConfederate - Jasper

FluffyVampBoy - Emmett

2Hot4You - Rosalie

DocterFang - Carlisle

TheNormalOne - Esme

MisterWiggles – Emmett

_DocterFang has signed on._

_Born2Shop has signed on._

_DangerMagnet has signed on._

Born2Shop: Hey Carlisle, It's good to see that you have actually stepped into the twenty-first century.

DocterFang: Yeah, Edward intrduced me t-what was it called again?-the wrld wide web. The funny thing is that there aren't spiders.

Born2Shop: Uh… Carlisle… There aren't supposed to be spiders… It's kinda like a figure of speech,

DocterFang: Dang, s I didn't need to buy bug spray and spray it nt the computer? S, that's why ne f my letters isn't wrking… **(Alice: Sorry if you have a hard time reading it, he's missing the "o")**

Born2Shop: * hits self on head *

DocterFang: And I didn't need t buy a surf bard either? Yu knw, t surf the net?

Born2Shop: Nope.

DocterFang: Dang.

_DocterFang has signed off._

_2Hot4You has singed on._

2Hot4You: 'Sup Alice.

Born2Shop: Hey Rosalie.

DangerMagnet: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Born2Shop: Wait, Bella, where did you come from?

DangerMagnet: I HAVE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME!

2Hot4You: Why are you talking in caps?

DangerMagnet: EMMETT GAVE THIS MAGICAL SUBSTANCE!!!!!!!! IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!

Born2Shop: Oh god, Bella. Please don't tell me that Emmett gave you sugar!

DangerMagnet: SSSSSSUUUUUUGGGGGGAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

2Hot4You: I'll take that as a yes.

Born2Shop: Bella, haven't we taught you not to take anything Emmett gives you?

DangerMagnet: YES, BUT IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!

2Hot4You: Wait, Alice, what are the side effects of sugar for a vampire?

Born2Shop: Ummmm… Hyperness?

2Hot4You: Besides that!

Born2Shop: I can't remember! We banned sugar from this house, remember?

2Hot4You: Phooey! We need to remember, it has some sort of weird side effects that we need to watch out for!

DangerMagnet: I ROBBED A BANK! AND I WENT TO A NUDE BEACH!! OH!!!!!!! I ALSO HAD A GAY MOUNTAIN LION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Born2Shop: You went to a…? Never mind, you robbed a bank?!

DangerMagnet: YEAH, IT HAD ALL THIS SHINY GOLD STUFF AND WAS LOCATED IN KENTUCKY!!!!!!!!!

2Hot4You: Oh, my, CARLISLE! You didn't rob Fort Knox, did you?

DangerMagnet: YEAH!!!!!

Born2Shop: OMG! Why didn't see this?!

DangerMagnet: AFTER THAT I WENT AND HUNTED A GAY MOUNTAIN LION!

Born2Shop: OH! I can't see gay things! OH! So that's why I can't see Mike Newton or Emmett!

2Hot4You: EMMETT'S GAY?!

Born2Shop: Sometimes…

DangerMagnet: I'M GOING TO GO HUNT MORE GAY ANIMALS! THEY ARE YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!

DangerMagnet: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_DangerMagnet has signed off._

Born2Shop: Omg, Rose! We can't let Bella out into the world! It's not ready for her!

2Hot4You: Your right! I'll grab the duct tape and you'll grab the box of despair!

_2Hot4You has signed off._

_Born2Shop has signed off._

**Hope you enjoyed the Fluff! I'll try and get the next chapter up as soon as possible.**

**-Alice**


	5. We Gangsta!

IMing with da CULLENS!

DangerMagnet - Bella

LiquidTopaz - Edward

Born2Shop - Alice

EmoConfederate - Jasper

FluffyVampBoy - Emmett

2Hot4You - Rosalie

DocterFang - Carlisle

TheNormalOne - Esme

MisterWiggles – Emmett

_2Hot4You has signed on._

_Born2Shop has signed on._

2Hot4You: 'Sup everyone!

Born2Shop: 'Sup my homie G!

2Hot4You: G?

Born2Shop: Gangsta! **(Alice: My school doesn't allow you to say that, so that's where I got it from)**

2Hot4You: Ooh! Let's be gangstas!

Born2Shop: YES!!!!!!!!! But wait—how are we going to be gangstas?

2Hot4You: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… RAPPING!!!

Born2Shop: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **(Alice: Let me warn you now, that I have no idea how to rap, I am so sorry if this is way lame)**

2Hot4You: * starts rapping into a microphone *

Born2Shop: * starts rapping * My name is Alice Cullen! I'm a spazztastic vamp.

2Hot4You: She loooooooves to shop. And has a fuzzy purple lamp.

Born2Shop: Her name is Rosalie Hale. She's a prettiful girl.

2Hot4You: I may be a little vain! But I'm a beautiful pearl.

Born2Shop: Say What!

2hot4You: Say What!

Born2Shop: Say What!

2Hot4You: SayWhat!

Born2Shop: * starts to do the worm *

_FluffyVampBoy has signed on._

FluffyVampBoy: What is up, my peeps!

2Hot4You: We're being gangsters! Er… I mean gangstahs!

FluffyVampBoy: FoShizzle!

Born2Shop: You just killed it.

FluffyVampBoy: I'm just trying to be gangstahry!

2Hot4You: Now you've buried it.

FluffyVampBoy: * cries * I've buried it?!? Does that mean it's in the Forks cemetery?

Born2Shop: * sarcastic * Yeah of course, a figure of speak can be buried.

FluffyVampBoy: I'm going to go visit!!!

2Hot4You: Wait—

_FluffyVampBoy has signed off._

2Hot4You: Great, I married an idiot.

_Born2Shop has signed off._

2Hot4You: OMG! You left me!

2Hot4You: * sniff * I don't feel loved!

2Hot4You: Now I'm insane! I'm talking to myself!

2Hot4You: Yes, yes you are.

_2Hot4You has signed off._

**Thank you, all who have reviewed! I'm sorry this chapter was so short and fluffy, I was bored, and didn't have that much time to write.**

**-Alice**


	6. OME! TWILIGHT!

IMing with da CULLENS!

DANGERMAGNET - Bella

LiquidTopaz - Edward

Born2Shop - Alice

EmoConfederate - Jasper

FluffyVampBoy - Emmett

2Hot4You - Rosalie

DocterFang - Carlisle

TheNormalOne - Esme

MisterWiggles – Emmett

_DangerMagnet has signed on._

_Born2Shop has signed on._

_TheNormalOne has signed on._

DANGERMAGNET: OME!!!!!!!!!!! THAT MOVIE WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Born2Shop: God, Bella! When will that sugar high fade?

TheNormalOne: It took weeks for Emmett's last sugar high to go away! * shiver *

Born2Shop: That was a dark time… He caused World War II!

DANGERMAGNET: GREATEST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TheNormalOne: What the heck is she going on about?

Born2Shop: We went to see this movie called "Twilight" It was pretty good, but it seemed really familiar…

Born2Shop: It probably would have been better if someone * cough * Bella * cough * hadn't snuck up to the projector thingy and made shadow animals.

DANGERMAGNET: BOB GO MOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TheNormalOne: Do I want to know?

Born2Shop: No.

TheNormalOne: I g2g, Carlisle is having trouble with the TV… again.

_TheNormalOne has signed off._

_LiquidTopaz has signed on._

LiquidTopaz: Hey everyone.

Born2Shop: Hey Edward, hey where have you been, I haven't seen you all day!

DANGERMAGNET: YEAH, EDDIE-KINS WHERE WERE YOU?

LiquidTopaz: Hiding in my closet.

Born2Shop: If you ever need to hide, hide in my closet! Btw, why were you hiding?

LiquidTopaz: I'll… uh…. Keep that in mind…. I was hiding because of the fangirls!

Born2Shop: The fan-what?

LiquidTopaz: The fangirls!

Born2Shop: What do they do?

LiquidTopaz: They are crazed people who have fallen in love with me!

Born2Shop: Are you serious?!

LiquidTopaz: No, they're really people who go door trying to sell drugs, of course I'm serious!

DANGERMAGNET: * GASP * EDDIE-POO! HAVE YOU BEEN SEEING OTHER MEN?!

LiquidTopaz: I'll… uh… let that pass…

Born2Shop: And how did you acquire all these so called "fan girls"?

LiquidTopaz: They seem to know me from this movie called "Twilight". Have you heard of it?

Born2Shop: Yeah, me and Bella went to see it.

DANGERMAGNET: BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!!!

Born2Shop: I can't see how that has to do with the fan girls, it's only about a vampire and a human who fall in love with each other… oh.

LiquidTopaz: WHAT?!

Born2Shop: Geez, your starting to sound like Bella!

LiquidTopaz: TELL ME!

Born2Shop: I can't see how I missed it! Put two and two together and get 20!

LiquidTopaz: Wait, what?

Born2Shop: * talks slowly * A vampire, and a human fell in love.

LiquidTopaz: Wha—oh…

LiquidTopaz: AH!!!!!! THE FANGIRLS HAVE FOUND ME!!

DANGERMAGNET: * giggle * BYE BYE EDDIE!!

Born2Shop: Wow… Bella's finally gone in insane.

DANGERMAGNET: SHUT UP ALI-GIRL!

_DANGERMAGNET has signed off._

_LiquidTopaz has signed off due to fangirls finding him._

_EmoConfederate has signed on._

EmoConfederate: Hey Alice, I think I just went deaf…

Born2Shop: You went to see Twilight?

EmoConfederate: Yeah… There was this girl next to me screaming "I LOVE YOU EDWARD!!!!!" It was rather odd…

Born2Shop: I'm bored…

_Born2Shop has signed off._

_EmoConfederate has signed off._


	7. Emo Bella

IMing with da CULLENS!

DangerMagnet - Bella

LiquidTopaz - Edward

Born2Shop - Alice

EmoConfederate - Jasper

FluffyVampBoy - Emmett

2Hot4You - Rosalie

DocterFang - Carlisle

TheNormalOne - Esme

MisterWiggles – Emmett

_DocterFang has signed on._

_LiquidTopaz has signed on._

_TheNormalOne has signed on._

LiquidTopaz: 'Ello parental unit.

DocterFang: Did you just say ELMO?

DocterFang: ELMO'S EVIL!!!! * hides in corner *

LiquidTopaz: I didn't say Elmo!

DocterFang: AH!!!!!!!!!!!!

TheNormalOne: Uh, Edward, could you stop saying the "E word"

LiquidTopaz: Uh… okay… I don't know if I want to know, but why?

TheNormalOne: Carlisle had a bad experience with a "Tickle me Elmo"

DocterFang: The HORRORS!!!!

TheNormalOne: Oops, sorry honey.

_DocterFang has signed on._

TheNormalOne: I should probably go make sure he's okay…

_TheNormalOne has signed off._

_Born2Shop has signed on._

Born2Shop: Was that Carlisle I heard crying? **(Alice: Of course without tears)**

LiquidTopaz: Unfortunately, yes.

Born2Shop: Disturbing… Anywho, have you seen Bella?

LiquidTopaz: Uh… no…

Born2Shop: CRAP! I lost her and on that sugar high, who knows what she could do…

LiquidTopaz: Smooth, Alice.

Born2Shop: Can you do your whole mind reading thing and tell me where she is.

LiquidTopaz: Okay… She is…

Born2Shop: YES!

LiquidTopaz: Honestly, don't you remember that I can't read her mind?

Born2Shop: Phooey…

LiquidTopaz: Wait, I'm picking something up… She's on the porch.

Born2Shop: Hey, I thought you couldn't read her mind.

LiquidTopaz: I can't, I can see her outside of my window.

Born2Shop: Whew.

_DangerMagnet has signed on._

DangerMagnet: Hey guys…

Born2Shop: YAY! Your sugar high is gone!!

DangerMagnet: It's nothing to be excited about, geez do you have to be so hyper?

LiquidTopaz: Bella, is something wrong…?

DangerMagnet: Oh, it's nothing… I just hate the world and the world happens to hate me back.

Born2Shop: * gasp * Bella's gone emo!

LiquidTopaz: Is this an after affect of the sugar high?

Born2Shop: Must be, but Emmett didn't go all emo!

LiquidTopaz: Emmett's not normal.

Born2Shop: True…

DangerMagnet: This is soooo frustrating! I try to cut myself, but it's just not working! ARG!!!!!!!!!

Born2Shop: Calm down, Bella! The world doesn't hate you!

DangerMagnet: If this isn't working, then I must take more drastic measures.

Born2Shop: * prays * Please don't say Volturi.

DangerMagnet: I must go listen to HANNAH MONTANA! **(Alice: I mean no offense to any Hannah Montana fans)**

LiquidTopaz: * gasp * No, Bella don't! **(Alice: That reminds me of from the movie when Bella is begging for Edward not to take revenge on James)**

Born2Shop: Um… I'm uh going to… go somewhere with sound proof walls… Oh! I know! MY CLOSET!

_Born2Shop has signed off._

_DangerMagnet has signed off._

_LiquidTopaz has signed off._

**There's the next chapter! Also, for the next chapter I want some ideas from other people, so everyone is not just getting my same old, same old junk. Also, a big, big, thank you to all my wonderful reviews!**

**-Alice**


	8. Mood Swings and an Elmo Army

IMing with da CULLENS!

EmoDangerMagnet - Bella

LiquidTopaz - Edward

Born2Shop - Alice

Confederate - Jasper

FluffyVampBoy - Emmett

2Hot4You - Rosalie

DocterFang - Carlisle

TheNormalOne - Esme

MisterWiggles - Emmett

_EmoDangerMagnet has signed on._

_TheNormalOne has signed on._

_Confederate has signed on._

Confederate: Okay, who change my sn?

EmoDangerMagnet: You gotta be more cheery Jasper, look on the bright side of things.

Confederate: Look whose talking, Miss I-want-to-kill-myself.

EmoDangerMagnet: It's not my fault the world hates me.

TheNormalOne: Bella, honey, the world doesn't hate you.

EmoDangerMagnet: That's what they all say, * shifty eyes *

Confederate: Guess what, no one gives a crap.

EmoDangerMagnet: Why do you have to be so mean?! * cries *

Confederate: Why do you have to be so emo? That's my thing!

EmoDangerMagnet: Who said I was emo? You silly willy Jasper.

Confederate: What the… One second you're all emo, the next you're teary, and then you're delirious or slap-happy, or something!

TheNormalOne: One word Jasper: Mood swings.

Confederate: That's two words.

TheNormalOne: Oh whatever, they do it all the time on TV.

_TheNormalOne has signed off._

_Confederate has signed off._

_LiquidTopaz has signed on._

_DocterFang has signed on._

LiquidTopaz: Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DocterFang: That doesn't sound good…

LiquidTopaz: * evil grin * No it doesn't, Carlisle, my friend.

DocterFang: Crap, what are you planning now?

LiquidTopaz: Not planning, putting a plan into action! Say hello to my ELMO ARMY!!!!!!!!!

DocterFang: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

LiquidTopaz: Bow down to my awesomeness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DocterFang: Wait a minute… Edward doesn't say awesomeness…

_FluffyVampBoy has signed on._

FluffyVampBoy: Emmett, I'm gonna kill you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LiquidTopaz: Crap!

_LiquidTopaz has signed off._

_FluffyVampBoy has signed off._

_Born2Shop has signed on._

DocterFang: Hey Alice, what's up?

Born2Shop: Edward's murdering Emmett, nothing new.

DocterFang: That's because Emmett posed as Edward, he had me fooled up until he used the word 'awesomeness'.

Born2Shop: Ah… Anyway, glad you have actually gotten the hang of computers…

DocterFang: They're actually pretty easy… Wiis on the other hand…

DocterFang: I suppose I should save Emmett…

_DocterFang has signed off._

_2Hot4You has signed on._

Born2Shop: Hey Rose.

2Hot 4You: 'Sup Alice, have you happened to see Emmett?

Born2Shop: Edward's trying to murder him, Carlisle's supposed to be saving him…

EmoDangerMagnet: HELLO!!!!!!!!!!

Born2Shop: CRAP!! Bella's sugar high is back!

2Hot4You: Duck and cover!

EmoDangerMagnet: God guys, you act like the world is coming to an end, why does everyone thing that I'm frickin' emo?! Do you all hate me?

Born2Shop: Sorry…

EmoDangerMagnet: Why are you saying sorry? It's not like you did anything?

2Hot4You: This is weird…

_2Hot4You has signed off._

EmoDangerMagnet: Was it something I said, I didn't mean to make her log off! * sigh *

Born2Shop: Bella….

_EmoDangerMagnet has signed off._

_Born2Shop has signed off._

**Sorry it took me so long to update. Anyways, if I used even a bit of your idea please PM me so I'm not taking credit for an idea that wasn't mine. Hugs and chocolate chip cookies to all that have reviewed!**

**-Alice**


	9. Changing Screen Names

IMing with da CULLENS!

DangerMagnet - Bella

IGiveNoPrivacy - Edward

EvilAnnoyingPixie - Alice

TheUnionRocks - Jasper

Idiot - Emmett

DumbBlonde - Rosalie

ELMORULES - Carlisle

Oddity - Esme

IdiotWithTwoSN - Emmett

_IGiveNoPrivacy has signed on._

_EvilAnnoyingPixie has signed on._

_TheUnionRocks has signed on._

IGiveNoPrivacy: What the…

TheUnionRocks: Huh?

EvilAnnoyingPixie: WHO CHANGED MY SN?!?!?!?!

IGiveNoPrivacy: I'm asking you the same thing.

TheUnionRocks: Wait, our sn are changed?

IGiveNoPrivacy: Noooooooooooo, I thought they were exactly the same.

TheUnionRocks: Oh, so we're on the same page.

IGiveNoPrivacy: Sarcasm, Jasper. Learn it, use it. Anyway, if you hadn't noticed our sn are changed then why did you day 'huh'?

TheUnionRocks: Oh… I knew that… Ummm… I was saying it because Emmett is egging my window with the plastic eggs full of syrup that he made last easter.

IGiveNoPrivacy: Do I want to know why?

TheUnionRocks: Ummmm… No.

EvilAnnoyingPixie: Um, guys there are more important things than being egged by Emmett.

IGiveNoPrivacy: What?

EvilAnnoyingPixie: I don't know, maybe the fact that SOMEONE CHANGED OUR SN might be important.

IGiveNoPrivacy: Oh… Yeah…

_IdiotWithTwoSN has signed on._

TheUnionRocks: Why were you egging my window?!

IdiotWithTwoSN: Hmmm… does my sn seem off to you… There's something different about it…

EvilAnnoyingPixie: I'm living with a house of idiots…

IdiotWithTwoSN: OMG! THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!

_IdiotWithTwoSN has signed off._

EvilAnnoyingPixie: Oh! I got it! Edward read the minds of everyone and see who did it!

IGiveNoPrivacy: Oh! Why didn't I think of that?

TheUnionRocks: 'Casue you're an idiot.

EvilAnnoyingPixie: FOCUS!

IGiveNoPrivacy: Geez! You don't have to be pushy about it… Alright let's see here…

Rosalie - 'Hmmmm, does this match?'

Emmett - '…'

Esme - 'I live in a house of idiots'

EvilAnnoyingPixie: She gets me!

IGiveNoPrivacy: Don't interrupt!

Jasper - 'The Union does not rule, Confederates are the awesome ones!'

Carlisle - 'Army of Elmos… Attack me…'

Bella - '…'

Alice - 'Edward has got to find out who changed my sn!'

It's Alice! I bet it is! She's thinking about the sn!

EvilAnnoyingPixie: Like I said I live in a house of idiots.

_DangerMagnet has signed on._

_TheUnionRocks has signed off._

DangerMagnet: 'Sup guys!

EvilAnnoyingPixie: * gasp * Bella did it!

IGiveNoPrivacy: That's why she's keeping her mind blank!

EvilAnnoyingPixie: You can't read her mind!

IGiveNoPrivacy: Oh…

DangerMagnet: Did what? And why are your sn all weird?

EvilAnnoyingPixie: SOMEONE changed them. * poke * * poke *

DangerMagnet: You think I did it?

_DumbBlonde has signed on._

DumbBlonde: Wtf? Who changed my sn?

DangerMagnet: Everyone thinks it's me, because mine wasn't changed!

DumbBlonde: Well it does look rather suspicious…

IGiveNoPrivacy: Yes it does!

EvilAnnoyingPixie: Now everyone is seeing sense!

DangerMagnet: But you've got no proof! I'm innocent until proven guilty!

IGiveNoPrivacy: Wow, that's one evil laugh you've got there Rose.

DumbBlonde: Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! No one was supposed to hear that!

DangerMagnet: It was Rosalie!

EvilAnnoyingPixie: * gasp * How'd you do it?

DumbBlonde: Dang, you caught me… Anyway, it was sooooooo easy! I just had to figure out all of your passwords, you guys aren't the most creative.

Bella's (although I didn't change hers, so she was framed) - edwardlover

Edward - bellalover

Jasper - confederaterules

Alice - shopaholic

Esme - housefullofidiots

Carlisle - password

Emmett (for both) - ummmmmmm

EvilAnnoyingPixie: Hehe… I'm gonna go change my password and my sn…

IGiveNoPrivacy: Me too…

_EvilAnnoyingPixie has signed off._

_IGiveNoPrivacy has signed off._

DangerMagnet: You framed me?!

DumbBlonde: Uh… Yeah?

_DangerMagnet has signed off._

_DumbBlonde has signed off._

**Now I'm really sorry I haven't updated recently, I've been really (really) busy. Nowadays I don't have time to update, so I'm going to put all my stories except one on hiatus, please vote on my poll which one you think I should keep updating.**

**-Alice**


	10. Cars and Scratches

IMing with da CULLENS!

DangerMagnet - Bella

LiquidTopaz - Edward

Born2Shop - Alice

TheUnionRocks - Jasper

FluffyVampBoy - Emmett

2Hot4You - Rosalie

ELMORULES - Carlisle

TheNormalOne - Esme

MisterWiggles - Emmett

_ELMORULES has signed on._

_2Hot4You has signed on._

2Hot4You: Uh, Carlisle you know you can change you sn…

ELMORULES: Really? This one is really bothering me. * twitch *

2Hot4You: Anyway, what was your bad experience with that Elmo?

ELMORULES: Well he's red for one thing, and he's got these huge eyes that stare at you all day long! It always felt like I was being watched! But it wasn't too bad until it started talking to me…

2Hot4You: Are you sure that doesn't show that you're insane?

ELMORULES: Me, insane? That's ridiculous Rosalie!

2Hot4You: Just continue on with your story…

ELMORULES: It's kinda too embarrassing to talk about. And the worst part is that Esme got pictures! Stupid blackmail… Well anyways I shall go and change my screen name.!

_ELMORULES has signed off._

_TheNormalOne has signed on._

2Hot4You: 'Sup Esme.

TheNormalOne: Hey Rose.

2Hot4You: Um, I've got a question…

TheNormalOne: Shoot.

2Hot4You: Um, well I was wondering if you've got blackmail… You know from when Carlisle and his experience with a Tickle Me Elmo?

TheNormalOne: No, no, I wasn't saying shoot as in, fire away. I was saying shoot, as in Emmett's found the keys to Alice's Porsche…

2Hot4You: Oh no. Where's Alice?

TheNormalOne: She dragged Bella to the mall in Edward's Volvo.

2Hot4You: So we have time to fix the damage? We don't want Alice to explode.

TheNormalOne: Um… what damage?

2Hot4You: There was no damage? Emmett always causes damage!

TheNormalOne: Well, the Porsche has next to little damage, but the car parked next to it on the other hand…

2Hot 4You: And whose car was that?

TheNormalOne: Um… Yours.

2Hot4You: WHAT?!

TheNormalOne: And you were worried that Alice would blow her top.

2Hot4You: EMMETT IS SO DEAD!

_2Hot4You has signed off._

_DangerMagnet has signed on._

DangerMagnet: What the heck is that whining noise?

TheNormalOne: Whining noise? Oh, it's Rose screaming.

DangerMagnet: …Rose screaming? Emmett?

TheNormalOne: Right on the mark.

DangerMagnet: Oh, I'm guessing he crashed her car?

TheNormalOne: Nah, he just damaged it using Alice's Porsche.

TheNormalOne: Wait, weren't you shopping with Alice?

DangerMagnet: Shhhhhhhh!!! She senses you when the word is spoken!

_Born2Shop has signed on._

Born2Shop: Grrrrr, why do you keep running! You know you can run, but you can never, ever hide!

DangerMagnet: Eep!

Born2Shop: Don't you dare eep me!

TheNormalOne: Girls, stop fighting! Bella will go with you another time, Alice!

Born2Shop: Yay!

DangerMagnet: Not helping Esme!

TheNormalOne: Sorry dear!

DangerMagnet: Oh, Alice! Did you hear that Emmett got a hold of your keys?

Born2Shop: Wait, WHAT?

DangerMagnet: Oh don't worry! There's only a scratch.

Born2Shop: Only a SCRATCH?

_2Hot4You has signed on._

DangerMagnet: So you finished with Emmett?

2Hot4You: Yep, he's all tied up now! Plus, I didn't have to waste any duct tape!

TheNormalOne: Then how is he still tied up?

2Hot4You: Oh, Emmett's really stupid, all I need is a rope, and he's done for the day.

Born2Shop: If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go give Emmett a piece of my mind!

_Born2Shop has signed off._

DangerMagnet: I have to say I actually kinda feel sorry for him… But not that much.

2Hot4You: Well he deserves it!

TheNormalOne: And Emmett will always be Emmett. Wait, does that even make sense?!

DangerMagnet: Kinda…

_ELMORULES has signed on._

2Hot4You: Why haven't you changed you sn, Carlisle?

ELMORULES: I, um, forgot my password…

2Hot4You: You're hopeless Carlisle… I'll go help you.

_2Hot4You has signed off._

ELMORULES: Whew, finally this sn will be gone!

_ELMORULES has signed off._

DangerMagnet: Now what?

TheNormalOne: I guess we sign off..,

_TheNormalOne has signed off._

_DangerMagnet has signed off._

**Okay, so on my poll there was tie between Emmett's Moments and this story, so I'll continue on with writing them. The other stories will be put on hiatus, but I'll update once in awhile. **

**-Alice**

**Oh and I'll get Emmett's Moments updated as soon as I can, but I have writer's block for it…**


	11. Bad Mental Pictures

IMing with da CULLENS!

DangerMagnet - Bella

LiquidTopaz - Edward

Born2Shop - Alice

EmoConfederate - Jasper

FluffyVampBoy - Emmett

2Hot4You - Rosalie

DocterFang - Carlisle

TheNormalOne - Esme

MisterWiggles - Emmett

_DangerMagnet has signed on._

_2Hot4You has signed on._

DangerMagnet: YES! It's almost Easter and the Easter bunny will come!

2Hot4You: Bella, Easter is something we never celebrate about.

DangerMagnet: Why?

2Hot4You: Emmett.

DangerMagnet: Ah, enough said. But, wait, what about the Easter bunny?

2Hot4You: That's Carlisle dressed up in a pink bunny suit. Emmett usually attacks him, because he thinks it's a stranger trying to rob us.

DangerMagnet: Poor Carlisle.

2Hot4You: Nah, I think you're talking about Emmett. It scares the crap out of him. Even though he is a dimwit, we should feel sorry for him!

_EmoConfederate has signed on._

DangerMagnet: Hey, Jasper!

2Hot4You: 'Ello Jasper, do you know Spanish?

EmoConfederate: Uh, no… why are you asking?

2Hot4You: Well I was going to say Hola, but then I was like 'What if he doesn't know what I'm saying'

EmoConfederate: Rosalie, everyone knows what 'Hola' means.

2Hot4You: No, not everyone.

DangerMagnet: I know that you two would love to bicker all day, but I'm feeling neglected.

EmoConfederate: Because that is not self-centered whatsoever.

DangerMagnet: I know, right?

EmoConfederate: I thought Rose was supposed to be the self-centered one.

2Hot4You: Hey!

_LiquidTopaz has signed on._

2Hot4You: Hey Edward!

EmoConfederate: Hola Edward. -cough- Rose -cough-

LiquidTopaz: Hey Rosalie, hey Jasper.

DangerMagnet: Excuse me, Edward!

LiquidTopaz: Erm, what?

DangerMagnet: Hubby-with-cute-butt say what? You forgot to say Hello to me!

LiquidTopaz: Did you just call my butt cute?

EmoConfederate: Too much information.

DangerMagnet: Yeah, I did. That's because it is cute! It's nicely rounded, very tan, not too fat, and it's firm.

LiquidTopaz: …

EmoConfederate: …

2Hot4You: WAY too much information.

DangerMagnet: Don't you think my butt is cute?

LiquidTopaz: Uh… sure, honey.

DangerMagnet: You're not going to describe it? =(

LiquidTopaz: Yeah, it would just be a little too hard.

DangerMagnet: No, it's really easy. Here, I'll start for you: Bella's butt is nicely tanned…

2Hot4You: Okay, it's time to end this!

_2Hot4You has signed off._

DangerMagnet: I have a REALLY bad feeling about this.

_DangerMagnet has signed off._

EmoConfederate: Bad mental images…

LiquidTopaz: I know what you mean… and it was MY butt she was talking about!

_EmoConfederate has signed off._

LiquidTopaz: -shudders- I might never look at Bella's butt the same.

_LiquidTopaz has signed off._

**Sorry for the lack of updates. I swear that I will update almost every weekend. And if I don't get it updated on the weekend I will update on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.**

**-JayLeaf (Alice)**


	12. Jo Bro Thing

IMing with da Cullens

DangerMagnet - Bella

LiquidTopaz - Edward

Born2Shop - Alice

EmoConfederate - Jasper

FluffyVampBoy - Emmett

2Hot4You - Rosalie

DocterFang - Carlisle

TheNormalOne - Esme

MisterWiggles - Emmett

_MisterWiggles has signed on._

_Born2Shop has signed on._

Born2Shop: God, I hate that sn, can't you go on the other one?

MisterWiggles: Stop telling me what to do! Don't treat me like a child of the two! I know that you want what's best, but mother pleas, GIVE IT A REST!

Born2Shop: Okay… What the crap are you saying?

MisterWiggles: Everyone can rock out like a super star.

Born2Shop: No! Stop with the Hannah Montana, you dip!

MisterWiggles: What is this feeling so sudden and new?

Born2Shop: Ummm… Normalness? Nah, you would never feel that.

MisterWiggles: All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus.

Born2Shop: Now you're not making any sense.

MisterWiggles: I can ride my bike with no handlebars.

Born2Shop: If you don't stop, I'm logging off.

MisterWiggles: Money makes the world go around.

Born2Shop: I'm serious!

_MisterWiggles has signed off._

Born2Shop: Wha… huh… he left me!

_2Hot4You has signed on._

Born2Shop: Rose, you're husband is being annoying!

2Hot4You: Hello to you too. Oh and don't blame me for what Emmett does, it's all him.

Born2Shop: Well yeah… Anyway wanna go shopping later?

2Hot4You: Totally!

Born2Shop: I need a new dress and accessories. Oh and a bunch of other stuff.

2Hot4You: Wait, didn't Carlisle take your credit card away when you pulled that elmo prank on him?

Born2Shop: I've got my sources. But seriously, who knew a vamp could freak out like that?

2Hot4You: And your sources are?

Born2Shop: Esme, she's got a soft side when I use my puppy dog face.

2Hot4You: Puppy do face? Wow, first grader much?

Born2Shop: Hey, I saw you use it on Esme when you wanted her to punish Emmett.

2Hot4You: Well in certain circumstances it is needed.

Born2Shop: Hypocrite.

2Hot4You: Oh, shut up. It was actually really funny 'cause Emmett tried using the puppy dog face on her and it didn't work.

_LiquidTopaz has signed on._

LiquidTopaz: Oh… my… God…

Born2Shop: What?

LiquidTopaz: Bella just took me to a… to a…

2Hot4You: Oh just spit it out, wimp.

LiquidTopaz: J-Jonas Brother's Concert.

Born2Shop: =o I feel sorry for you.

2Hot4You: Same, here. Wait, I didn't know they were playing here.

LiquidTopaz: They aren't, she made us fly all across the country looking for them.

_DangerMagnet has signed on._

DangerMagnet: OMG!!!! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!

2Hot4You: Ah! Duck and cover! Bella's on sugar again!

DangerMagnet: No, silly. I haven't been near sugar in days.

Born2Shop: Days? Is that a good or bad thing?

LiquidTopaz: It's not sugar. I'm thinking it's a "Jo Bro" thing.

DangerMagnet: EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! THE JONAS BROTHERS!!

2Hot4You: I'm pretty sure you're right, Edward.

LiquidTopaz: Remind me why you brought me to the concert again, Bella.

DangerMagnet: Because you're my soul mate.

LiquidTopaz: But I hate them.

Born2Shop: Join the club.

DangerMagnet: You looked like you were enjoying it. Well before you started making up lyrics to the songs.

LiquidTopaz: Ah, yes. Nothing like parodies.

Born2Shop: Ooh! What were some of your lyrics.

LiquidTopaz: Let's see here… Oohh This is an PMS. (SOS) and of course, When you poke me in the eyes (When you look me in the eyes)

2Hot4You: Ooh, good ones.

DangerMagnet: No, they were not! They were just plain mean!

Born2Shop: Actually, they were pretty funny.

DangerMagnet: I can see that everyone's against me and the Jo Bros, so GOOD DAY!

_DangerMagnet has signed off._

2Hot4You: Hey Alice, I think we should go shopping now.

Born2Shop: Good idea, I bet she'll be blasting that horrid music at a very high volume for the rest of the day!

_Born2Shop has signed off._

_2Hot4You has signed off._

LiquidTopaz: All day… Wait for me guys!

_LiquidTopaz has signed off._

**Okay, I know what your thinking, more crappy excuses. I've been extremely busy. My teachers give me no pity and assign a boatload of homework each day and if you throw dance into the mix, I am one busy person. I'll try and update as much as possible, I swear!**

**-JayLeaf (Alice)**

**I don't any of the songs that Emmett sang. Here's a list of them in order of when he sang them: Mama I'm a Big Girl Now, Let's Get Crazy, What is This Feeling, Circus, Handlebars and Money.**


End file.
